Man Accused of Pleasuring Himself During Screening of ‘The Emoji Movie’
I didn’t think the experience of watching The Emoji Movie could get more unpleasant, but apparently it can; much, much more unpleasant. News 12 New Jersey (via THR) reports that police are searching for a man who committed “a lewd act” during a screening of The Emoji Movie in Howell, New Jersey.
Not Fifty Shades Darker. Not The Beguiled. Not even Baywatch. The freaking Emoji Movie:
Police say that a woman watching the movie with her children at the Xscape Movie Theater on Route 9 witnessed the suspect with his hands down his pants, which were unbuttoned and unzipped. She told police that the man was seated alone in the back row of the theater.
This guy really took the wrong message away from James Corden’s hand emoji.
Look, I get it. The Emoji Movie is a soul-crushing experience. I have experienced few moments in my life where time seemed to pass more slowly than the 88 minutes of The Emoji Movie. You have to get your mind off the nightmare somehow.
I am not here to judge anyone and their personal life choices. What a man and a woman and a poop emoji do in the privacy of their own home is their business. But that’s just it; the movie theater is not a private place. It is a public place. The whole thing is a very vomit face emoji situation.
You can see pictures and the video of the suspect at News 12’s site; if you recognize him, the Howell police want to hear from you.