This Guy Needs Our Help, You Guys!

Ted is a lonely guy. Apparently, he hasn't had much action lately and he's looking for help. So he's taken his plight to the interwebs and set up a "Go Fund Me" page to get himself some "action."

You see, Ted is a simple guy. He doesn't ask for much. He probably wants what every other red-blooded American male wants. A family, a good job, good beer and good friends. But our friend Ted takes it a little further. Ted, well, Ted wants a hooker. And not some top-of-the-line hooker that costs thousands of dollars, a la "Pretty Woman." Nope. He only wants the $200 kind.

As of last check, he's gotten a couple donations. One from his friend "Chicken F**ker.

Wanna help? Here's the page.