Get our free mobile app

If people don't ask me to join their Fantasy Football League (FFL), I'm fine with it. It saves me the trouble of telling them, in painful detail, the one big reason why I just can't do FFLs.

The Story of James Rabe's Calf, or The Day James Was Waxed

Applying Wax (James Rabe Collection)

The idea of being on a FFL sounds wildly dull to me. I like high school and college football, but miss me with the NFL (lots of people are on that bandwagon now, sure, but I was the only one holding the reins for decades).

It's not the dull that gets me, though. It's the reminder of a massive "pick the winner" fail I experienced back when I lived in Twin Falls, Idaho. The painful (literally) bet and memories of the payoff tell me, "No...don't do it. It will HURT!"

Get On With the Story!

A coworker and I made a bet about who would win that weekend's high school football game. Twins Falls High School or Canyon Ridge High School. I didn't know anything about either. I was new to town, and people laughed when I picked Canyon Ridge High School.

Canyon Ridge was the new high school in town. It was their first year fielding a team. When I found out that, I knew I was going to lose. And lose bad. If my team won, the other guy had to wax his back (it was a sod farm for old guys eyebrows and ears back there), if his team won, I had to wax my leg.

By the time the game ended, Twin Falls High School stomped the Canyon Ridge 23-0.

11 Years Ago Today (09/21/2010) This Is What Happened

The Ripping (James Rabe Collection)

I'm a man of my word, so the waxing team (the local cosmetology school) showed up at 7 AM, set up their evil devices and before 8 AM, I was understanding pain in a whole new way.

A while ago I wrote about this and this paragraph is so true it bears repeating...

(2017) Honestly…it hurt like crazy. The ladies in the room mentioned that my low tolerance for pain is exactly why men don’t have babies. I couldn’t argue. Did I mention it hurt? A LOT? Especially on the sides and back. Wow. For the record, if it always hurts like that, ladies, I’m cool with y’all getting all hirsute!'

The Proof (ick) (James Rabe Collection)

As always, if you have a comment, complaint, or concern about something I wrote here, please let me know: james.rabe@townsquaremedia.com

Fall Means...

Fall means a lot of things. One of them is wearing pants so no one sees your legs so they can get as hairy as whatever. It also means super cute pictures of toddlers in pumpkin patches!

Best Pumpkin Patches and Places to Find the Perfect Pumpkin in Southeast Minnesota

If you are looking for the perfect pumpkin to help decorate for fall or to carve into an amazing Jack-o-lantern, check out the list below to see some of the best places in Southeast Minnesota selling pumpkins.