Five Things You'll Only Hear In Minnesota Farm Country

A Memorial Day weekend spent on the farm with my girlfriend Diana's family always brings a lot of laughs, good food, and things you'll only hear in Minnesota Farm Country.

OH! We should show him the driveway!

Photo by Rabe
Photo by Rabe

Diana, her sister Pat, and I were out driving. They were giving me a bit of an extended geographical tour. We saw various homes that'd belonged to friends, a place Pat used to live, a super dangerous road, all of it out in the country, nothing but freshly planted fields around us.

All of a sudden Pat says, "OH!! We should show him the driveway!" WHEEE! I thought but then...realized she means the driveway that used to lead to a house that was special to the family...but the house is long gone now, in its place, freshly planted beans or corn.

Did You Just Put Bacon Grease In the Chicken Stock?

Farm fresh bacon, butchered by Diana's dad and cured locally. (Photo by Rabe)
Farm fresh bacon, butchered by Diana's dad and cured locally. (Photo by Rabe)

This one is all my fault. We made bacon, eggs, and toast (fresh from the farm bacon is another level you can't even imagine). Anyway, I'm cleaning up, and realize I'm pouring bacon grease, not into the grease bottle, but into a bottle of frozen chicken stock!

In my defense, the bottles look very similar, like old Miracle Whip jars. There are like 10 jars that look alike in the freezer, all old MW jars!

I only poured in a bit when I realized the mistake. As I was QUICKLY putting the chicken stock back in the freezer, Diana comes into the room and says, "Did you just put bacon grease in the chicken stock?"

Me: No.

Also me: Yes?

This Is the Blanket With the Blind Dog Because Mice chewed His Eyes Out


Her sister Bev comes up to me and tells me a story about how mice had gotten into a tote and ruined a bunch of gifts. She'd managed to save this blanket, a gift for me. The mice chewed up most of the gifts, even a down comforter...and all of it had to be thrown out. But, Bev thought sister Pat (from the first story) could save the blanket with a patch. "You see," she said, "the blanket was folded in such a way that the mice could only nibble this one part."

She hands me the blanket, I felt where she pointed, and could feel little oval saucers where the eyes were. Pat had managed to save it, with some penguin fleece.). So now, when I run my fingers over the blanket, it's super easy to find the special puppy.

As she presented it to me, Bev said, "This Is the blanket with the blind dog because mice chewed his eyes out."

Low Maintenance Means NO Maintenance, but Don't Tell the Lawyer That!

Aaron Savage, Townsquare Media
Aaron Savage, Townsquare Media

Pat and Diana were showing me a road that's closed in the winter and usually, there's a "closed road" sign, but not always. There is a LOW MAINTENANCE ROAD sign, but since it's almost exclusively used by locals, they know because they know, the closed sign doesn't always go up.

Well, way back in the day, an attorney wanted to sue the county for not maintaining the road because he got super stuck on it. Messed up his fancy car something awful, which sucks, but you don't get much sympathy when instead of being embarrassed you drove on such an obviously bad road, you demand people pay for your mistake.

photo by Piotr Adamowicz Thinkstock

From what I heard, the judge said, "You don't have a case, City Slicker" and that was that. Maybe the judge didn't say, 'City Slicker'. That may just be me assuming what the judge WANTED to say.

As they say in Minnesota Farm Country...low maintenance road means NO maintenance road. 

The Sounds of Silence


When you get to the Evans Family Farm, and you're done with supper, it might be a bit cool, so you put on hoodies and you sit outside for a bit and talk. As you sit, you begin to notice an immense quiet around you.

Don't be fooled, it's not really the sounds of silence, it's the lack of noise you're noticing. Without the noise, you can hear the breeze, birds flapping their wings around the bird feeder, and someone walking down the gravel road. And most importantly, each other. We sat around a fire with some friends last Friday and had a great time...much of it not saying a word. Just listening to the things you can't hear when you're in the city.

Other Farm Country Stories Worth checking out.

I've written about the five things you don't want to hear on a Minnesota Farm...

"She Must Have Been Desperate If She Put THAT In Her Mouth!" Read More: Five Things You Don't Want to Hear On a Minnesota Farm 

5 Things You Don't Want to Step In On A Minnesota Farm ...including mouse catchers!

As always, if you have a comment, complaint, or concern about something I wrote here, please let me know:

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