Minnesota City Says Call 911 On People Not Poop Scooping Dogs

Plymouth, Minnesota, told residents to call 911 on people not poop scooping their dog. Sounds like an April Fools prank, right? In fact, the first source I found was dated April 1, 2021, so I thought it WAS a prank.

It Is Not A Prank

Among the other pet rules and regs you'd probably find in most cities, towns, bergs, and villages, Plymouth adds this...

***Call 911 to Report Violations, Concerns***
For the safety of the community, residents who observe violations of the above animal ordinances or any other public safety concerns are encouraged to call 911 immediately so that a community service officer or police officer can respond. (SOURCE)

How much spare time do Plymouth, Minnesota, police have? Are they so bored, they have time to respond to a call about Frank and Sally NOT picking up after Frank the Wonder PoopPoodle?

As my mother would say, "Oh for Heaven's Sake..."

Is There A Good Reason for Plymouth's Poop Perspective?

According to the city's news release...

For the health and safety of the community, Plymouth city staff remind dog owners that they must clean up after their pets – as pet waste pollutes the city’s lakes and streams – and remind residents of the city’s leash law and pet ordinances.

Leash laws, pet ordinances, Rabe Shots (always capitalized) and all that? I totally get. Asking citizens to call 911 to report a Poop Scoop Scofflaw seems like asking for trouble.

Especially if there isn't much of a problem to begin with. Fox 9 talked to someone making a living in the pup poop world...

Mike Nordean, the owner of Turd Nerds, already has hundreds of customers in Plymouth. He says nothing about Plymouth’s dog waste situation stands out when compared to other cities, yet it seems to have taken a tougher stance than most. (Fox 9)

Think of all the PFKAKs that'll be activated (People Formerly Known As Karens). Do they need another reason to be upset about someone else's actions?

Response time to those 911 calls will likely see a slow and, dare I say, even lackadaisical. How will the PFKAKs hold the PoopFender 'til the law arrives? Let's run it thru the ol'James Rabe DramatiZe That Encoder.

PFKAK - ((into phone)) Yes, 911? There's a man across the street that hasn't picked up after his dog.....did they poop? The dog did...but THEY'RE NOT SCOOOPING!"

PFKAK - ((shouting to man across street)) YOU STAY THERE THE POLICE ARE COMING!

Guy Across Street - What? I can't hear you....

PFKAK - I SAID...STAY! STAY!

Guy Across Street - ((walks away))

You see the problem?

Anyway, yeah, dogs are great, we don't deserve them, and people should clean up after their pets.

As always, if you have a comment, complaint, or concern about something I wrote here, please let me know: james.rabe@townsquaremedia.com

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