The “Florida Man Games” Are Real And Just As Unhinged As You’d Think

You know the Olympics. You know the X-Games. Now, get ready for the most competitive and ridiculous one of them all: the Florida Man Games. The shocking reality of these nonsensical games is that the contestants are playing for a $5,000 prize.

There are real stakes here.

What Are The Florida Man Games

Suppose you've never seen the cultural moment that is the "Florida Man" news headlines or anything. In that case, you've missed out on drunk people doing dumb things, alligators in precarious places, drunk people being arrested for doing said dumb things and mullets. Lots of mullets. The news headlines all start with "Florida man..." and then you read the most bodacious headline imaginable.

Now take every headline you've ever heard and you'll find it at the Games. The creator of the games, Pete Melfi from The 904 Now show which covers news around St. Johns County, FL, described it as the "most insane athletic showdown on Earth". This is no understatement. Of the events taking place, here are just a couple:

• Evading Arrest Obstacle Course - Competitors have to break out of a set of handcuffs, escape a cop car, jump a fence, run through a swamp, grab an "alligator", and slide across a slip-n-slide to save a frozen iguana.
• Florida Sumo - knock your opponent out of a ring while holding a jug of beer
• Weaponized pool noodle mud duel - Jousting in a mud puddle.

If you're shaking your head in disbelief reading that then you'll be even more shell-shocked to learn that's only 3 of 6 events. When one man was asked why he was doing this, he had the most Florida man response possible:

I love God and I love America, and I'm here to be a Florida man...if you die, you die. We're not gonna die though.

Incredible. To view the preview of the event, check out FOX's story on the Games here.