Reward: Find My Lost Shirt

Everyone has a favorite shirt. I don't care who you are. Well, mine is gone and there's a reward out for its safe return.

This is not the actual shirt, as you can see by the fact that it says "Not actual shirt." But it looks exactly like it.

I don't remember the last time I saw/wore it. It may have been at a music festival. Who knows? But I am willing to part with $20 of my hard earned money for its safe return ($20 paid out annually in $1 installments).

Everyone has a favorite shirt, right? My "old" favorite shirt was one that said "Irish Beer Drinking Team" and it was just found, alive and well, yesterday after over a year absence.

Of course I'm a fan of my Z-Rock shirts, Lienenkugel's shirts, other station t-shirts etc., but the "Best Friends Forever" has been my favorite for a couple years now and she's gone missing.

Whomever took it, I hope you're enjoying yourself. I hope you feel good about yourself. You thieving bastard!

Well, I have one message for you, shirt thief:

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom I can tell you I don't have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long beer drinking career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you give me back my shirt now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you and I will kill you...or make you buy me a beer.