5 Reasons Why Rochester Would Survive A Zombie Apocalypse
If you haven't heard, Rochester is getting its own Zombie Pub Crawl this year. You may soon see hundreds of zombies stumbling around downtown. And because October is the month for all things spooky, I started wondering - what would happen if those zombies were REAL? Would Rochester survive a zombie apocalypse? I think it would!
5. Few People Know About This, But We Have A Lot Of Doctors And Nurses Here
Is there currently a hidden lab deep beneath a random Mayo building where medical researchers are coming up with a zombie vaccine? You know there is. But it's just nice to know that I can walk a few blocks away to get treated for a zombie bite.
4. Our Winters Are Also Cold
Do you think zombies could survive a Minnesota winter? There's no way. Some of us barely get by as it is! We could just hide out in any of the 700 new apartment buildings downtown until they all freeze their zombie brains. Easy peasy.
3. I'm Pretty Sure Zombies And Geese Don't Get Along
Even if we're outnumbered by a crowd of zombies, at least they will be outnumbered by all the Canadian geese in this town. I'm picturing an epic Zombie vs. Geese battle at Soldiers Field Park, and I feel really bad for whoever has to clean that up.
Although if the geese suddenly turn into Zombie Geese, we're all screwed.
2. Don't Forget About The Other Honkers With The Baseball Bats
If The Walking Dead has taught me anything, it's that a baseball bat is a go-to weapon during a zombie apocalypse. Good thing that the Med City has a certain group of dudes who are pretty good at using them!
1. It's Cool Ladies, I Know Martial Arts
Zombies can't deal with my sweet roundhouse kicks and ninja stars. I got this.
So there you go. If we suddenly found ourselves living out The Walking Dead in real life, I think we're be pretty safe here in Rochester!
...Or WOULD we?
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