I was asked to buy some TP for someone. They were sick, couldn't get out of the house, and...oh boy, did I fail. Failed big time. I wasn't told what kind of TP to buy, just "grab me some toilet paper, would you?" Sure thing, I says, because I'm just that kind of guy. Little did I know the heck that would rain down on me when I bought Scott Brand Single Ply.

I got a stern, "Thanks" and when I said, "What?" this happened...

Me - No, really, what's the problem. Is it bad toilet paper?

Them - ...

M - ???

T - It's single ply. ((huge sigh)) Who buys single ply TP?

M - ((points to self)) Me.

T - For...what? Why?

M - Because...

T - Everyone knows single ply is for people you don't like!

M - I did not know that.

I always buy Scott Tissue 1,000 sheets packs. It does the job, it costs less, and it is just...toilet paper.

And now, some TP jokes.

  • What kind of music do you play for a boulder and some toilet paper? Rock 'n roll!
  • Which part of a trilogy is always a stinker? The Turd Part.
  • What's the best time to go to the bathroom? Poo-thirty!

Listen to James Rabe 6a to 10a on Y-105 FM, and 2p to 6p on 103.9 The Doc.